Hello, everyone. Technically, this will be my ever first writing for this blog. The previous one was written for some other sites but before i publishd there, this blog happened to me and I posted the same here.
I was not sure if I wanted this blog or not. Maybe I was dealing with the insecurities and still, some are there within me. Sometimes, detoxing from insecurities seems Sisyphean. Fear of being judged and fear of putting oneself vulnerable were lingering there in my mind. There are so many self-help books and so many life-changing tips bombarding social media. But sometimes, none can convince you. All go vain and it is you who can pick you up and dust off yourself. So all I conclude is Now or Never. we see others’ life perfect, at least better than ours. And may be that is how we put them on a pedestal. Sometimes I might sound sad, and i might sound cocky other times. May be I am but I am happy provided sometimes I still get irked when my room’s internet connection gets poor.

After returning from home, I did not feel like settling over here. I was missing home badly. Two of my friends left for their home right after i returned from home. I felt all alone. I decided I would never synchronize my life and decisions with others from that day onward. Maybe this time, I was dealing with the fear of attachment. I was trying to be back to my schedule . The past few months were some of the most beautiful times of my life. I felt at home, I felt loved and cared. We were having great family time. Mom was cooking all my favorite foods. Sometimes I never wanted to grow up because I felt that I would not be loved sameway as before. But this time, Mom convinced me that I am still her kid who can ask for anything (not everything, but most of them ) with all those expressions and blackmailings. I was juggling with the confusions, then one day my phone beeped. It was my friend’s message.”oe Kaha ho?”. Then I said that I am back. Kabh Milegi? Then we met. We talked about so many things. we laughed. We ate burgers, fries, and cokes. One corner table in the mall and we two. We were having such a deep conversation giving shit to the rest. Again, I felt at home for a while. Friends can play so many roles in our life ranging from mentor, guide, teacher, family, and friend. They can give you ideas ranging from stupid ones to expert. Home is not about the place but the kind of bonds you share with the people around you. Yes, this city has provided this girl to me who shares a little chatty home in her heart with me. Time flew so fast, it was already 8 p.m. and we waved goodbye. We will catch up someday and will have that deep conversations again, without feeling the presence of the crowd around us.
Hope the city, in which you are living, offers you the kind of friend who can make you feel at home, even if it is for a while.Thank You all!!!